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vincentzx.diaryland.com The new me
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[2005-08-11 @ 1:06 p.m.] [regress] [progress]
It's Been A long time since I've done this and alot has changed ALOT has changed before I think pretty much every entry I wrote was about sarah and it was like that with everything I couldnt even write a damn song without having it be about her. Well Like I said alot has changed let me fill you in march 04 I finally moved in with Sarah our relationship completley changed we stopped talking (witch was our entire relationship when it was long distance) and I became more interested in everquest than this girl that I thought was my whole world. Two weeks later halloween were supossed to be handing out candy but instead shes doing homework, I'm trying to be all lovey and she pushes me away ( I had been looking forward to spending that time with her all day It was fucking halloween I missed so many good parties) So I go to her room and play grand theft auto san andreas for a couple hours or so and she comes in and says she wants to take me home .... hmmm thats weird...were driving and somewhere beetween driving and parking in front of my house she broke up with me, I flipped out I seriously have never cried like I did that night I layed on my steps bawling trying to get up I couldn't I think that night was prolly what dying feels like because it was like half my body just ripped itself off and ran while I lied there bleeding to death. I cried .... I cried..... Then I cried some more, then I went downstairs called her begged and pleaded but no nothing not even a tear she was just so cold, who is this person I thought what have I been doing for five years, the next day I went to her house begged pleaded cried some more still this cold expressionless girl I didnt know " where is my sarah I want her back" ( great now I'm crying again, I'm fine now it just really sucked) I made this card ( like buisness card not card card) it need a little fore story sarah and her brother used to do this thing when the where little, you know how little kids are like "i'm stronger" "no I'm stronger" "Im strongest" "I'm stronger times infinite" well they had " QUADRUPLE INFINITE PERIOD PLUS ONE" and over the years I well we adopted it for the I love you more dealy, And this card was shit i cant remeber what the 4 was but the infinite was A ring cuz ring goes around forever infinite made sence at the time the period was cut from our first condom wrapper (dont ask) i painted a plus sign and the 1 was a small picture of her beacuse she was the only one, I thought it was cute. So anyways i give it to her and I'm pretty sure she started crying or teared up or something and i told myself I'd get her back........... Months pass doing the whole call each other once a week or so freind thing. Spongebob the movie comes out we go to see it together we talk we hug I think we kissed ( just a peck if we did ) and she tell me " everything is going to be alright were going to be ok" I'm like fuck yea finally, after moping around my room crying to my freinds and just being hardcore depressed and stoned for months finally, finally I get my rah back finally everythings Ok ..... Months pas doing the whole call each other once week or so freind thing. My freinds drag me out to a kareoke bar and get me trashed I needed it I need to get away from my depression it had been six months there I'm just hanging out and I see the cutest blonde, I dont't like blondes and this girlis way out of my leage not that I would even think about deserting sarah who left me a half a year ago so this girl tell my freind meagen that her freind is cute and shes like my boyfreind and shes like no the other one. So my freind meagen is like oh my god steve he's such a nice guy hes so depressed hes this and ect. ( yea shes a stupid bitch who says that shit ) and luckily for my it didn't push her away. So I'm sitting in the bar and my freinds are all trying to convince me to get up and talk to this girl so finally I muster up the nerve and I go sit with her and her freinds, I'm nervous as shit come to find out she actually thought something was wrong with me : ) she does all the talking and her and her freinds after like 10 min. say there leaving she gets up goes over to my freinds and i'm like alright i've been out of this for 5 years time to grow balls again so I get up say her name and ask her for her phone number she gives it to me and leaves..... for the rest of the night I AM GOD nobody can touch me I just got the hottest girl in this little POS bars number. I call her the next night we talk forever and it was either that night or the few that followed that we had some 5 hour conversations. Everything ends up working out and now I'm engaged and happier than i've been in my entire life I guess it's true everything happens for a reason. |
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